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Today also if I recall that incident, I get goose flesh and my eyes fill up with tears. How miserable I feel when I think about it. It always reminds me of a well-known saying by Nasreen that “Some pains set up home in your heart and out of love, stay with you all your life”.
Living in a joint family was not easy for us, where my siblings and I were grown up listening to those heated arguments between my grandmother and mom. No one liked the grandmother‘s outspoken attitude. She used to persistently nag and criticize anyone who wanted to act smart with her. An impatient woman is what we can call her. However I admire her beauty, tall, slim and fair (typical Indian Matrimony type). She had those curly hairs, which I used to love playing with. She always used to force me to cut them off to as short as I can, well! No one can dare to argue with her so finally I always have to chop them off.
It was strange for me to see her craving to eat noodles and a coke. She always used to ask me, when will I cook noodles and will get a coke for everyone so she could also be a part of the feast. But I never took any effort to please her. Whenever we all felt like eating it, I cooked noodles, bought a coke and gave it to her at last.
I think I got this disliking towards her because she used to get messy with my mom. But never did I sit with her to know what the problem is and how I can help to sought it out. Might be I was too young for all this.
One day we got news that dad is getting transferred to a metro city. We all were very excited and happy to relocate. When asked grand ma about it, she refused to come along as her entire life was spent here and she would never want to leave this house. Finally we shifted into a beautiful house in a metro city leaving her behind with Uncle & aunt (as ours was a joint family).
It is very well said “you realize the importance of a person when he/ she is not with you”. The same happened to me. She used to cry over the phone with her crooked voice telling us that she is missing us badly. I was a grown up girl by then and started realizing how we deprive theses old people and expect them to be alone or either visit temples. Once in a blue moon when we all used to visit her, she used to take me to her room, hug me and cry about being so lonely. She was feeling terrible so do I. Not even once she got to eat those noodles and a coke. Her grown hairs are irritating her but no one to trim them…
After several visits of ours, one final day she requested that she would like to come with us leaving the house behind, where she has spent almost 70 years of her life, got married, gave birth to my dad and uncle, nurtured them and also spent those memorable days with late grandfather.
I was in a hurry to go back home and thus replied her that I will come soon to see her next time and will surely take her along. But the next time never arrived because just after a month we got a call from uncle saying that SHE IS NO MORE….
I learnt a lesson not to ignore to what your loved ones tell you or ask from you because life is short and regret is lifelong.
I like writing Fiction and this is one soul touching work of mine. I would appreciate to get your comments on the same.
Thank You
Namrata Dixit
Freelance Journalist & Writer
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