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Have you seen the movies Sathiya and Chalte Chalte? These are simple love stories but they depict a stark reality of life. Be it love marriage or arranged marriage, the initial fervor of love is sure to get buried under the burden of responsibilities and practicalities of life. Then the cute love story of a boy met a girl, fell in love at first sight, said he would do anything to marry the girl, fought with his own parents, ran and got married and dreamt of staying happily in love forever, sounds like a fallacy.

Why does every love story meet the same fate? The reason is simple. Before you tie the knot, you can live in the fantasy land and dream about whatever you want to. In this journey you include your girlfriend or boyfriend also and everything looks rosy.  There is no responsibility except the craziness for each other. And the biggest factor is that you still are living separately and don’t have full control over each other. But the moment you get married, subconsciously you start taking your spouse for granted from day one. You don’t have to get ready to go and meet her/him in the evenings anymore. That person is with you 24 * 7.

Another important factor is that after marriage not only does your family, your society but even your spouse expects you to behave maturely and responsibly. They would no longer neglect your mistakes. You are required to behave as a reliable family member and expected to follow all the rules and regulations of the family.

It’s rightfully said that any kind of marriage can only work if there is mutual understanding and compatibility. The initial passion can only be sustained over the years by constant hard work. You cannot expect your spouse to keep showering sweet nothings on you till eternity. Every marriage has to sail through ups and downs and only those marriages survive the test of time which are build on strong foundation of trust, mutual respect and adjustments. Every marriage expects some level of compromise from both the partners. You have to nurture the values of humility and patience to make your marriage work. Love marriages can also work only if “I” changes to “us” and remains like that forever.

Tags: Arranged Marriage, Boy, Chalte Chalte, Family, Girl, Life, Love at First Sight, Love Marriage, Love Stories, Marriage, Parents, Relationship, Sathiya, Society

When I graduated from my engineering college, I had a strong desire to pursue further studies like a management degree. But immediately after my college got over, I got a job offer from a leading IT company. I was in a dilemma since both the paths were alluring. I discussed my situation with some friends and they suggested that I should do a distance learning course from a renowned institution.

According to them, this would not hinder my job prospects and at the same time allow me to fulfill my aspiration of MBA. The idea was very appealing and I applied to Symbiosis school of management. Unfortunately, I could not complete my course and had to drop out of it mid-way. The mounting pressure of a new job (that too of a software engineer) and the heaps of weekly assignments was taking toll both on my performance at work and my health. So personally distance learning didn’t prove fruitful for me. But this does not mean that it is not a good option for working people. As every coin has two sides, even distance learning has its pros and cons.

Advantages:

It does not require commuting: You can save on a lot of time, money and energy by cutting down on travel.  The time saved can be judiciously used for personal and professional life.

You can work at your own convenience: Since all the classes are asynchronous, you have the liberty to review your assignments or do your homework during off-hours or at home.

You have the freedom of living anywhere you like: All you might require is an internet connection or a computer, and you can do your correspondence course from anywhere in the world.  This provides a lot of flexibility to professionals, especially if they have a travelling job.

It’s a self paced learning: Not everyone is born a genius. Some of us might take longer to grasp some concepts as compared to others. In case of distance learning you have the advantage of learning and understanding at your own pace. This reduces unnecessary stress and increases satisfaction.

It’s easily accessible to all: Online classes address physical accessibility issues that some people with limited mobility encounter when taking traditional classes. You don’t have to worry about gaining access to a classroom or sitting on uncomfortable desks. Instead, you can use your comfortable furniture in your home while enjoying free movement and a chance to further your education.

Disadvantages:

You have to juggle between job and studies: Distance learning is only fruitful if you can manage both your job and studies with equal sincerity. You have to put in a lot of efforts at both fronts. If you falter at ant one front, it is bound to have negative repercussions.

It does not offer immediate feedback: In a traditional classroom setting, your performance can be immediately assessed through questions and informal testing. With distance learning, you have to wait for feedback until the instructor has reviewed their work and responded to it.

It may not be acknowledged by all employers: Till now, all leading companies show preference for candidates who have done a regular course. The job prospects might not be as bright with a correspondence course as otherwise. You might even have to compromise on the pay-package in some situations.

It doesn’t help in building oral communication skills: You do not get the opportunity to interact with teachers and other students on a personal basis. This inhibits the building of verbal skills which is an essential trait when you go for interviews.

It leads to social isolation: Most often you’ll be studying alone. Distance learners may feel isolated or miss that social physical interaction that comes with attending a traditional classroom. However this impersonality has been lessening with advances and use of communication technologies such as bulletin boards, threaded discussions, chats, email and conferencing.

Tags: Advantages of Distance Learning, Correspondance Course, Disadvantages of Distance Learning, Distance Education, Distance Learning, Education, Literature, People, Society

Many times in our life we should have to refuse some situations but because of various reasons and weakness in our personality we are unable to say a NO which gives rise to future difficulties. You might be feeling shy, afraid or ashamed of saying NO or you might not want to hurt the feelings on the other person but a NO secures our future and is a need of the moment, then How to tackle this NO?

Think before giving an answer to the person. Ask yourself if there might be any circumstances that could make you take that proposition. Make the things clear while saying a NO. Behave as friendly as possible. You can use sentences like –“If only you didn’t live that far…” or “The thing is I’m not feeling well now”.

Words used by you while explaining your NO can make a grate change on the reaction of the concerned person. Be positive in your conversation. Use “I feel” instead of “You make me feel”. There is no need for the other party to feel guilty. Show and tell what you like about him or her.

Refuse straightly but be elegant while speaking. Make it clear that the other isn’t for you, don’t give desert hope. But in case a Yes is possible but you have doubts then you can give some hope after a clear explanation of your doubts and the situation but the next step will have to be yours.

In case the person wants to push you in any threatening situation then forget your elegance. Be firm in saying a strict NO. If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable, forget your manners and set boundaries strictly otherwise you will have to pay in future.

It is always better to think before acting instead of regretting in future. Learn from your past experience. NO is a better option than to regret.

Tags: Guilty, No, People, Reasons, Society, Weakness

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Which one is better - Love marriage or arranged? The issue is debatable all over the globe especially in eastern countries where arrange marriage is a tradition. As you read this question which option strikes in your mind first and why?

Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of the Indian mind. Love marriage is supposed to provide freedom and more independence as compared to arranged marriages where the girl/boy is chosen by the parents. The usual question of love marriage voters against arranged one is that how can anyone marry the person whom they don’t know?

Amid popular love lore like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of arranged marriages. With the advent of the British and the subsequent introduction of British education system more Indians got educated. Education and exposure to the media, started to make people to think and realize they need not be bound by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners without having to rely on parents, matchmakers, relatives or having to consult astrologers. This gave rise to love marriages. Currently in our country we have arranged as well as love marriages taking place.

If we start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros and cons. If we talk about the love marriages first, it provides time for a mutual understanding between the partners which is needed for any successful relation. Knowing somebody before marriage allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each other’s needs and desires. This way they are better adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows. In arrange marriages, there is a pressure to conform to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. Lovers have to try hard if their parents don’t agree with the relation. That is why it is said that Love is not an easy way out!

As the partners are happy with their spouse and its their own decision to marry him/her, love marriages should be successful but not all love marriages have happy endings. Sometimes discord arises even in love marriages. After spending a happy time of marriage, the same couple can be seen regretting on their decisions. They found hard to save the marriage and at last have to break up. If they them self chosen their partner and had a perfect tuning then why this unhappy end of the relation after marriage?

Perhaps to avoid this kind of ending, now-a-days youngsters prefer arranged marriages. It is thought that arranged marriages happen only in the east but this was not always so arranged marriages were happening even in Victorian Europe. The best part in an arranged marriage is that parents and the family is happy and they them self arrange the marriage. There is no tears and no battle for their permission. Arrange marriage offer more protection and security to the women. There is not much pressure on the women to look like models. Parents employ maturity and wise judgment when choosing suitable spouses for their children.

Caste system gave birth to arrange marriages, as the upper caste families didn’t want their children to marry outside their community and caste. In some case, by love marriage people lost all things like parents, society and religion. But after World War II and industrial revolution people’s perception started changing and they became familiar with the concept of love marriages. Slowly but steadily, love marriages are acceptable in Indian society also.

To decide which one is ideal is an unending debate. Love or arranged both is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. A marriage needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain the relation.

So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it’s all about the way you perceive your marriage. The target is the happiness and stability of the relation in the marriage whether it is love or arranged.

Tags: Arranged Marriage, India, Love, Marriage, Society

A new study by Lynn of Ulster University revealed that intelligence and atheism are linked together and people with higher intelligence quotients are less likely to believe in God as they have logical mind.

A team of Researchers, led by Professor Richard conducted a survey of Royal Society fellows which found that only 3.3 per cent believed in God — at a time when 68.5 per cent of the general British population described themselves as “believers”.

Researchers say that university academics are less likely to believe in God than almost anyone else.

“Why should fewer academics believe in God than the general population? I believe it is simply a matter of the IQ. Academics have higher IQs than the general population. Several Gallup poll studies of the general population have shown that those with higher IQs tend not to believe in God,” leading British newspaper The Daily Telegraph quoted Prof Lynn as saying.

According to Prof Lynn, most primary school children believed in God, but as they entered adolescence — and their intelligence increased — a large number of them started to have doubts.

Moreover, he said that religious belief had declined across 137 developed nations in the 20th century at the same time as people became more intelligent.

The study results published in the latest edition of the Intelligence journal also got criticized by some of the people. Prof Gordon Lynch of Birkbeck College, London, said it failed to take account of a complex range of social, economic and historical factors.

“Linking religious belief and intelligence in this way could reflect a dangerous trend, developing a simplistic characterization of religion as primitive,” he said.

Hence it is doubtful to say whether intelligent people are less likely to believe in god or not but the study says that most of intelligent are like that. However, exceptions are always there.

Tags: God, Intelligence, People, Society

A recent study by a team of researchers Zuyd University in Holland states that human brain functions are significantly affected by the inhaled nanoparticles of fumes. Long term effects of the exposure to dirty air even for an hour could interfere with normal functioning of the brain.

The researchers are studying the effect of increasing pollution in the cities and its negative effect on brain.

According to lead researcher Paul Borm, “We can only speculate what these effects may mean for the chronic exposure to air pollution encountered in busy cities where the levels of such soot particles (nanoparticles) can be very high”.

Research is carried out on 10 volunteers who were left in a room filled with clean air or exhaust from a diesel engine. After 30 minutes of the exposure their brain activities are analyzed for the changes using a device named electroencephalograph (EEG) that records the electrical signals of the brain.

The results displayed a stress response on the EEG from the brains of those people left in exhaust rooms. It was found that the effect continued even after leaving the room.

The results of the study have been published in the latest edition of the Particle and Fibre Toxicology journal.

Tags: Brain, Pollution, Society