Forgive Me Grand Maa…..
Dec 12, 2008 Short Story
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Today also if I recall that incident, I get goose flesh and my eyes fill up with tears. How miserable I feel when I think about it. It always reminds me of a well-known saying by Nasreen that “Some pains set up home in your heart and out of love, stay with you all your life”.
Living in a joint family was not easy for us, where my siblings and I were grown up listening to those heated arguments between my grandmother and mom. No one liked the grandmother‘s outspoken attitude. She used to persistently nag and criticize anyone who wanted to act smart with her. An impatient woman is what we can call her. However I admire her beauty, tall, slim and fair (typical Indian Matrimony type). She had those curly hairs, which I used to love playing with. She always used to force me to cut them off to as short as I can, well! No one can dare to argue with her so finally I always have to chop them off.
It was strange for me to see her craving to eat noodles and a coke. She always used to ask me, when will I cook noodles and will get a coke for everyone so she could also be a part of the feast. But I never took any effort to please her. Whenever we all felt like eating it, I cooked noodles, bought a coke and gave it to her at last.
I think I got this disliking towards her because she used to get messy with my mom. But never did I sit with her to know what the problem is and how I can help to sought it out. Might be I was too young for all this.
One day we got news that dad is getting transferred to a metro city. We all were very excited and happy to relocate. When asked grand ma about it, she refused to come along as her entire life was spent here and she would never want to leave this house. Finally we shifted into a beautiful house in a metro city leaving her behind with Uncle & aunt (as ours was a joint family).
It is very well said “you realize the importance of a person when he/ she is not with you”. The same happened to me. She used to cry over the phone with her crooked voice telling us that she is missing us badly. I was a grown up girl by then and started realizing how we deprive theses old people and expect them to be alone or either visit temples. Once in a blue moon when we all used to visit her, she used to take me to her room, hug me and cry about being so lonely. She was feeling terrible so do I. Not even once she got to eat those noodles and a coke. Her grown hairs are irritating her but no one to trim them…
After several visits of ours, one final day she requested that she would like to come with us leaving the house behind, where she has spent almost 70 years of her life, got married, gave birth to my dad and uncle, nurtured them and also spent those memorable days with late grandfather.
I was in a hurry to go back home and thus replied her that I will come soon to see her next time and will surely take her along. But the next time never arrived because just after a month we got a call from uncle saying that SHE IS NO MORE….
I learnt a lesson not to ignore to what your loved ones tell you or ask from you because life is short and regret is lifelong.
I like writing Fiction and this is one soul touching work of mine. I would appreciate to get your comments on the same.
Thank You
Namrata Dixit
Freelance Journalist & Writer
Tags: Coke, Emotions, Family, Father, Grand Ma, Grand Mother, Grandmother, Joint Family, Mother, Nasreen, Soul Cry, Uncle
Tragedy Made Worse!
Oct 3, 2008 Crime
In a bizarre incident, a father became responsible for accidentally killing her 22 month old daughter while reversing the family car (Tata Sumo). The incident took place on Saturday when the family was returning from an outing at the nearby park. Anita, Shubhangi’s mother (the girl who got killed), got down from the car to unlock the main door while Sunil Kumar (the father) was reversing the car. He was unaware that his tender girl was walking towards the car. That night as the reversing car hit the Shubhangi, she fell down and hurt her head against a stone on impact.
“We heard Anita screaming and rushed out, where we saw both parents trying to revive Shubhangi, who was bleeding. She was immediately taken to Max, where she died later,” added the neighbor.
The tragedy does not end here. The police have registered a case of death by negligence against the father under section 304(A). A senior police official confirmed that, “A case has been registered and the father, Sunil Kumar, will be arrested soon.”
Just imagine the plight of the mourning father. He would not have still recovered from the jolt of his mistake when the news of his arrest came. “You can imagine the grief that Sunil is feeling. Shubhangi was his favorite, and he used to spend all his free time with his family. Now we will have to also fight for Sunil’s freedom,” said a relative.
According to neighbours, the Kumars had shifted last year to the locality, which was near Sunil’s parents’ home in Kalyanpuri, New Delhi. Kumar, who ran a cable business, would take his family out every weekend. “The elder daughter is in class I in St Mary’s school. Both Sonia and Shubhangi used to play around with neighborhood kids. They looked like the perfect family,” said another neighbor, Sakshi.
I’m still unsure if registering a case against a lamenting father is the right thing to do. If Mr. Kumar actually loved his daughter as much as is claimed by the relatives, will he ever be able to pardon himself for the mistake he has made? Isn’t the guilt of his act enough for his penance? What can be worse for a father to be tormented by the fact that he was responsible for his own child’s death every day of his life?
Problem of being a Single Parent!
Sep 21, 2008 Relationship Advice
Parenting is a major responsibility, more so for a single parent. A single parent has to bear with added responsibilities, tensions and pressures. Either due to separation, divorce or death of a spouse, a single parent is left alone to deal with multiple tasks. You have to be a father and a mother at the same time. You need to have the tenderness and understanding of a mother, yet be firm and strong like a father. This dual portrayal may get overwhelming for some at times. But if single parenting is handled in a mature way, it can develop into a strong bond between the parent and the child.
A single parent has to take care of all the physical and emotional needs of the child by himself or herself. Right from personal hygiene, dietary habits, school work, punctuality and peer group, so on and so forth….. The list can be unending. You can partially share this responsibility with the child’s grandparents or a trusted friend or even a loyal maidservant. But you are ultimately responsible at the end of the day. So, never regret this responsibility. Childhood is a very fragile phase and any wrong impression can ruin your relationship forever.
You have to remember that no matter how smart you are, by the end of the day you are making decisions for your child all alone. They may not be the most appropriate decisions always. So, confide in your trusted relatives while taking important decisions concerning your child’s future, be it education or hostel accommodation or foreign travel. This will not only give you moral strength but also add more credibility to the final decision made. If you are on talking terms with your ex-spouse (now separated), consult him or her on major occasions. After all, the child is his or hers also. He or she might have some important and useful ideas to contribute.
A child’s mind is like an unwritten book. You can scribble anything onto it. So be very careful as to what you teach your child. As far as possible, never let your bitterness, bad experiences, annoyance and anger; infect your child’s psyche. Never ever poison the child’s mind against the separated spouse. And make the child realize the importance of friendships and lasting human relationships. If you honor your ex relationship, your child will hold you in even higher esteem then he or she normally does. You cannot change past, but you can definitely shape the present and the future.
When taking care of a child single handedly, it’s more important to remember that you are not only a parent, but a human being as well. It is very easy to get carried away and try to do everything for your child yourself, without taking any outside help. This is bound to burn you out very soon and you might end up getting frustrated and you may start taking out these emotions on your child. Don’t compromise your own social life in trying to be a good parent. It would only make matters worse. If you are working, you must come home feeling healthy and happy. Try to spread your responsibility or else you may spend quantity time rather than quality time with your child. For example, never feel guilty while employing a housemaid or a cooking help.
A child misses a parent the most on occasions like Parent’s day when he or she sees the other children with both set of parents. Prepare yourself and your child for such situations. Talk about these problems. Never let such issues spoil your child’s fun. Tell the child to never hide the fact that he or she has a single parent. Of course, that does not mean that the child volunteers this information, but let the issue of single parenting not be a shameful secret. Or else, the child will turn hypersensitive and withdrawn. Never let your child develop any personality disorder. You should take the initiative from the initial years. As is said, attitude is everything. Therefore, if you don’t indulge in bouts of self-pity and depression, single parenting will not unsettle your child.
Tags: Death, Decisions, Divorce, Emotional, Father, Mother, Parent, Parenting, Physical, Pressures, Problems, Responsibilities, Seperation, Single Parent, Spouse, Tensions
