Often when two individuals are in love, they do not even like to give in a second thought to the decision on “live in”. They think that since the two of them are in a serious relationship nothing can go wrong between the two of them.
Moreover, they think that since the two of them have to be together, they should start living together in order to know each other’s likes and dislikes, so that this does not become an issue when they are married and live together as husband and wife.
Therefore, in nut shell, they think that “live in” is just to know their partners in a better way. This is true to an extent, but then the clashes which take place between them; this can make the relationship sour. There is always an appropriate time to move in together, because the steps which are taken in haste, often makes the couple regret. One thing to be kept in mind is that the maturity level of both the partners should be considered when the two are about to get into the “live in relationship”.
Here are a few points which can be of help, and should compulsorily be followed by those who are in any case planning to dive into a live in.
- Ask yourself as to why do you two want to move in together – the couple should make sure about their reasons to move in together, rather they should have the same reasons. The best and the practical way is to present our reasons in front of each other, the reason for the desire of staying together. One might think that it would help in the share of rent and the other might think of fulfilling other needs in a live in.
- The reality check – the initial days of a live in would be very blissful and great. staying and living with your sweet heart and waking up beside him/her everyday, nothing else can be as heavenly as that feeling, but these are attractions of a few days when you people start living together. You might end up noticing ugly sides of each other. There are constant ups and downs in a relationship.
Like: who shall be the first one to use the bathroom first, or who shall cook for the day? Who shall clean the house?
Therefore in order to avoid such clashes before moving in with each other, it is necessary to talk out such matters which can create rifts in the near future.
- Financial planning – now this is one issue which lead to the failure of a live in relationship. Couples before coming together should plans out their finances, as to what are the expenses which are to be taken care by each one of them. Boys, you should not be hesitant in asking the share of the flat rent from your girlfriend, be practical enough to work out things. These are the small things which if not sorted out mutually can create problems between the two of you.
Decide whether you two want to merge your expenses or keep them separate. One criterion of sharing expenses could be:
See if you have to share the expenses equally or divide as per the income of each individual’s earnings and expenditure.
- Allotting the household chores – both partners are expected to divide the work of the house among themselves. Managing all the household work alone is not an easy task for any individual. Therefore when two people are staying together, they have to share the work equally. One might initially love doing the all the chores all alone, but then eventually when the two start spending time, the works become tiring and irritates the person all the more. Therefore, in order to avoid all this, make sure you people divide the chores equally and meet the responsibilities together.
- Do you have the patience to cope with small irritating habits of your partner – till the time when you both are staying away from each other rather than staying together, those small irritating habits of your partner must have not been getting on to your nerves, but then once you start staying together, all habits baring a few might get weird on part of both of you. There is no doubt that there is a temperamental change in every person, you might not even come to know as to when your small habits be irritating for some one. For example, petty things like your partner leaving the wet towel on the bed or leaving the tap water open after brushing. Therefore, now when you people have decided to stay together make sure you both have the capacity and patience to deal with each other’s temperament.
- Exit planning – it can be a wise plan on part of any of the partner’s who plan to walk out of this arrangement of live in relationship. Make sure the two of you don’t have a mutual account. Anyone who plans to quit from the live in relation, might have his own reasons and probably he/she would not be even ready to take such a step.
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PROS OF “LIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS”
- The couples get to see actually how his/her partner be like. His small activities and his patience levels. After all every partner wants to know the other one, in a much better way with whom he/she has to spend life with.
- It definitely allows the couple to spend more time together since there is no one to disturb them and they have a lone time together.
- Such a step can make both of them realise the level of love and affection the other has for each other.
- Many people who are about to get married usually move into this kind of arrangements in order to understand their partners in a better way.
- Many of them who find it difficult to stay in an expensive place and have their boyfriends or girlfriends respectively, usually shift together such that they can spend more time together and at the same time their expenses can also be shared.
CONS OF “LIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS”
- As the two get to know each other better, there might be rifts between the two quite often. Things and situation then become different, and especially those small habits of each other can be very annoying at times.
- Once when the couples plan to move out the live in relationship, it is then very difficult for them to get into another such an arrangement. Probably they are not in a state of loving someone else in the same way and with the same intensity as they loved their previous mate.
Therefore these were certain points to think over before one gets into , rather dives into the live in arrangements.
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