How to Deal with Betrayal?

Much as I am dejected by some personal issues and also my professional life being not good these days, I came to know that everyone will have to deal with betrayal at some point in his or her life. Is not it true that at some point of time, we need to face betrayal either from our friends, spouse, family member, colleagues, and sometimes the superior at your working place.

You cannot escape betrayal from your life. Betrayal is more popularly known as backstabbing, although the common meaning of betrayal is the violation of trust. As far as the effects of the betrayal are concerned it can be catastrophic.

It is not possible that if you will betray then you cannot be betrayed. Yes, those who forget that I am going to betray someone, and no one will betray me, live in a false world. They actually fool themselves only. It is a fact that you will betray and you will be betrayed. Those who have ever faced betrayal in their life knows how much painful is the feelings of the betrayal.

Let us discuss a few words about the effects of the betrayal. Normally a betrayal can hit the person very hard. It is really very much painful to see that the person whom you trusted badly has turned around and hit you badly at your back. This is popularly known as a dishonest act. Normally after facing the betrayal we never know who to trust.

Now what is the solution? First you can’t ever stop betrayal. It is natural human tendency that he will betray. So, face it boldly. I usually prefer to discuss the betrayal with someone who is very close to me. When you will tell your story to someone who can understand then you will feel better. If you allow the feelings to lock inside your own heart then you will feel bad, but if you let your feelings out then you will feel much better.

Let me tell you something from my own personal experience, never trust anyone easily. Especially those who claim that you can trust me will fall into the category who will always betray. So be careful with them. Don’t discuss your secrets with them, even if they came close to your heart. I have seen many a times in my life of around 30 years, which people who claim that they are very honest and they say that I don’t prefer doing blah-blah stuff, will actually like to do the same blah-blah stuff and is the most dishonest people.

Remember the secret; never disclose your heart with everyone. Only make a few friends whom you can trust and only share the issues with them only. When you feel betrayed then spent some time alone and if possible then try to cry, it will make you feel better. This will further give you idea about what you want to do with the betrayer. Ask yourself if you really want to keep him or her in your life? Are they worth it?

If you decided that the betrayers is not worth of your friendship, and then quickly throw him out from your life. Here are a few tips through which you can deal with the betrayal:

Forget Betrayal: The first thing you need to do is to forget about all the betrayal incidents. You can do something which can divert your mind, like listening to the music, or watching a comedy or romantic movie, learn a language other than your mother tongue, taking a class of web designing, or development, taking a class of guitar, or taking a class of dancing. Diverting your mind will allow you to look ahead in your life, and you will probably forgive the betrayer too.

Laughter Therapy: One of the best medicines of forgetting betrayal is laughter. I prefer to watch comedy movie or comedy serial to forget everything about the betrayal.

Remember one thing just because someone betrayed you mean everyone associated in your life are also betrayer. No it is not true. In Hindi, poet Ramdhhari Singh Dinkar wrote one line which is quite near to my heart and it is: “Chhama Shobhti us Bhujanga ko Jiske paas Garal ho, Usko kya jo Dantahin, Vishrahit, Vinit aur Saral ho”. Which means that forgive suits to the snake that is the most poisonous; and not to a snake that has no poison. Acceptance of our own flaws will make us a better person, and improve our own character. Smile politely and face the people who betrayed you.

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Alok Vats
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